We were kids then
only seventeen
guessing at love
stumbling through life.

the world was an adventure
and we weren’t afraid
we’d live forever
or so we thought.

i called her
crying
my first love
had
broken
my heart.

she called me
crying

her second love
couldn’t
reach her
like i did.

yet it wasn’t so complicated

she still crawled
in my bed
into my arms
whenever it rained
too hard.

she taught me how to

roll
a joint
i taught her how to
drive
and she did.

ninety miles an
hour in a
thirty-five zone
whiskey on her
breath
it wasn’t my fault.

one last phone call
silence
waiting for the other
to say
three words
that never came.

her mother said
she would come to
see me during
spring break I
was going to
tell her then.

i was going to show
her

my run down
studio, no
job or school
just hustle.

i had it all
figured out:

we couldn’t be
lovers, but i’d be
her best
friend

fuck.

there’s no future
when you’re
seventeen, just one
glorious moment in which
you live
forever.

but now i know better
because i’ve grown
up and
she’s still

seventeen.